It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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