omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
