I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
