garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
