First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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