Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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