I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We left an ass print on the piano.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
