you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
