He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
