I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
