I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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