You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
