My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
