WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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