I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
