Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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