he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
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I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
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I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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