Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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