I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
