i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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