Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
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so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
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A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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