why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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