Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
