we have officially lost it.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
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The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
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Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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