Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize