He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
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I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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