is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
