Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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