Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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