Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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