i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
