I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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