Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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