Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
