sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
organizing the empties. That sober.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
