im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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