Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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