I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The adults are the big ones right?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
