My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
