I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
