Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
