omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize