i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
