Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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