The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
