I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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