but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
time to smoke my breakfast
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
