i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
