tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
