I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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