were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
