I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
