If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
