i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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