Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
