i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
