I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
