I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
