I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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