ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
