It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
